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Fifty Years in Polygamy: Big Secrets and Little White Lies, by Kristyn Decker
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Kristyn Decker's Polygamy, Big Secrets and Little White Lies is now available in this uncensored second edition. The first edition was banned from the Tuacahn Market in St. George, Utah, because of its uncomfortable subject matter, and this second edition goes into even more depth and detail about the neglect and the heartbreaking abuse that the author experienced during both her childhood in the AUB and afterwards in her polygamous marriage. Many women never find the strength to leave. Kristyn Decker did, and her story is important to anyone with a concern for human rights. She is the founder and director of the Sound Choices Coalition (www.sound-choices.com) and also can be found on Facebook and Twitter.
- Sales Rank: #34860 in eBooks
- Published on: 2014-01-13
- Released on: 2014-01-13
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
22 of 22 people found the following review helpful.
Absorbing Read
By Kurt R. Ovard
I have read 20 plus books on polygamy including history books, autobiographies from the pioneer era such as Wife No. 19 and Tell It All, and many, many other more recent biographies from former members of polygamist groups. Kristyn Decker's first book, Fifty Years in Polygamy - Big Secrets, Little White Lies, had me so absorbed that I literally couldn't put it down -- I was late for work and would also read it until the wee hours of the morning. The new UNCENSORED version of Fifty Years in Polygamy -- Big Secrets, Little White Lies was recently released so I'm reading it again to see what I missed and what can I say -- I'm still riveted by her story.
Perhaps it is the fact that I can visualize most everything in her story since I grew up in the same area as she did, but I believe her story of her escape from the mind-set of polygamy is one of the most compelling that I've read. She is from the Allred Group, but mentions other polygamist groups as well - such as the LaBaron group (Ervil LaBaron was more than less responsible for murdering her Uncle Rulon Allred in the mid-1970s). Her father, Owen Allred, took over as prophet when his brother was murdered. The day-to-day workings of the whole lifestyle are informative and fascinating as well. I consider it an important book for not only women, polygamist women, abused women, etc., but for all people living in the States of Utah, Arizona, Idaho, Montana, and Texas -- as well as Mexico and Canada. And if you live in Utah (like we do) polygamy will sooner or later touch your life. This book is an important, gripping, excellent read and helps to lend to the understanding of the enormous amount of problems for women, children, and even men who try to live in polygamy.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
This book is very thought provoking and eye opening
By C. Holbrook
I have watched "Sister Wives" since it premiered and loved the whole Brown family dynamic and the idea of a big happy family! Sort of a 21st century Waltons. I am a big believer in self-determination when you are an adult. I felt that even though I couldn't deal with the stresses of plural marriage it isn't my place to judge and was horrified when they had to flee Utah. Sometimes I even daydreamed about how sweet it would be to have help with my children (and my husband!) on those chaotic days we mothers sometime face but could never get around the issue of intimately sharing my husband so polygamy isn't for me. Prior to the TLC show my knowledge of polygamy was limited to the media coverage of Warren Jeffs. After reading this book I was presented with the view that polygamy isn't about self-determination but is coersion! To believe from birth you need a man to get into heaven, that you must have at least 3 wives to qualify for a celestial heaven just makes me so sad. To grow up believing that you will be condemned to hell if you are not willing to practice polygamy is just so disturbing to me. I would love to someone who is pro-polygamy outline their belief system and if that book already exists I would love to read it because the topic is fascinating to me.
Now for the book review. It was very engrossing. It is my understanding a basic tenet of polygamy is you are to take care of your family and your children so you can gain access to the celestial kingdom. It didn't seem that anyone took care of or looked out for the author. From very early on she was subjected to sexual, emotional and physical abuse. In adulthood, the author's husband did not do what he was supposed to and that everyone suffered as a result. The book does get confusing at times because there are so many people who weave in and out of the story but the book does cover a 50-year span and you are dealing with large plural families. What the author was able to overcome and achieve is very inspiring. I read every spare moment I had because the book is very good. The writing style is very personal and draws you in. The book gives a provocative counterpoint to what I have seen on television. If you are interested in polygamy or an individual making a success out of her humble beginnings then you should read this book.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Great read
By Rachel
This book gave an insightful look into the hypocrisy and entrapment of polygamy. She defines why it is not the same as marriage equality in other parts of our culture. Polygamy is inherently unequal in its practice, and thus the legalization of it in the same manner as the current trend of gay marriage is not a comparable argument, and the current glamourization of the culture through the show Sister Wives is one sided. These women are all essentially single moms who have to fight for the emotional, financial, and other resources their shared husband has to provide, and older wives are frequently usurped in status.
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