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The 8 Reasons for Divorce, by Thomas G. Papps
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Several years ago, after completing a divorce case and having handed my client her final papers, I felt that I should give her a bit of advice. She was quite young. First I told her to keep the final papers in a safe place and that she may need them in the event of a future marriage. Inasmuch as my client was a mother of four very young children and the divorce had been somewhat bitter for her, I added the advice that even though she had divorced her husband, the children had not been divorced from their father and still needed him.
I further recommended that she put aside her anger towards her unfaithful husband when it came to the interest of the children. She thanked me and added: You've handled so many divorces, you must know so much about marriage.
Later at my office, I reflected on her comment. It was absolutely illogical and untrue. I knew a great deal about divorces but absolutely nothing about marriage. In fact, after handling more than one thousand domestic relations files as an attorney, and after having taken the college courses and seminars on domestic relations problems and even after having counseled hundreds of couples before and after divorce, it was obvious to me that I had no substantive understanding of marriage. In fact, it became patently clear that all my work as an attorney and the work of thousands of other attorneys in the United States are only the mechanics of the destruction of marriage; and that the entire legal profession has not addressed itself to an in-depth treatment of marriage; what it is; and what causes it to fail.
Having established my ignorance of the subject, I attempted to evaluate the current literature and case treatments on the subject. I looked through psychiatric journals, psychological writings, and marriage counseling treatises.
My startling conclusion? It appears that no one in a professional capacity understands anything about marriage and especially the court system. Furthermore there is absolutely no literature that one can find that will define what one s problems are, or, what one can do to correct defects that are existing in one s marriage.
The answers that one can find are pitiful. Gross guessing by bearded professors. Speculations by supposed noted psychologists and psychiatrists. Pontifications by totally ignorant counselors. One can do as well by watching daytime television, which is where I suspect these professionals get their information.
Therefore, in this book, I have attempted to treat the subject of marriage and devise a workable explanation of its decay or its success based on the conclusions reached in my handling of over one thousand domestic relations files. It is my hope that the findings of my research will help to save your marriage -- or prevent you from entering into a bad one.
- Sales Rank: #3814275 in Books
- Published on: 2012-06-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x 5.50" w x .50" l, .40 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 208 pages
Review
Who better to chronicle the reasons why roughly 50% of married people get divorced than a divorce attorney? In "The 8 Reasons for Divorce" Attorney Thomas Papps gives a revealing glimpse of the reasons so many marriages fail and he even offers a simple, easy to take test of his own creation to see if yours may be heading for the courthouse. The anonymous case studies are fascinating, tragic, blackly funny and even bizarre all at the same time and he makes no bones about drawing his conclusion that the demands, temptations and distractions of our fast paced, culturally diverse society plus our own selfishness have made keeping our marriages whole and integrated into our own "family tribe" almost impossible - and the "family tribe" is what supported and held marriages together in the past.
Readers that are still married might wince and get a little nervous reading how other couples that share the same unresolved issues they live with wound up divorced but maybe what they'll learn from the book can help minimize the damage or even avoid a divorce altogether... Maybe. Everyone will get something different out of this interesting book. Nervous parents will want their kid to take the pre-marriage test before they set a wedding date and the recently divorced who still haven't figured out what hit them may take some comfort in knowing they weren't alone in their heartache and frustration. Mr. Papps makes what could have been a dry and boring data mining exercise interesting and gives the reader an often times funny glimpse behind the curtain of the "divorce business," something it could really use and I know this because I'm in it too.
--Kevin J. Grover -- Rhode Island Divorce Mediation Center About the Author
Born to very poor Greek immigrant parents in depression. Law degree from Ohio State. After school, I went in the Army and then to Korea. Eventually I tried a big case: U.S. Army v. Jake Jacobson, where twelve sergeants conspired to steal by signing false vouchers and being paid several times a month with their records being thrown away by an inside conspirator. When arrested, ten plead guilty; one committed suicide; and I represented the twelfth and used a defense that I had dreamed up in school that I thought would beat any criminal case. He was acquitted even though all his co-conspirators came and testified against him. Because of my high ranking on the bar exam, I received offers from many firms, one in Cleveland being the biggest law firm in the world at that time. I turned them down. I did not want bosses. I opened a storefront office and after winning a few trials, lawyers began sending me their cases to do for them. I refused to charge clients based on my interpretation of ancient Homeric ethics that I found more intelligent and preferable to Biblical rules. There were three: Never harm one who honors you such as a client who chooses you. Have no hubris. Always act with the feeling of honor. Because I honored my government that allowed a poor immigrant s son to succeed, I signed up and tried many federal trials for indigents and on some went to the Courts of Appeals and I never filled out the vouchers to be paid by the government. In 1963 I was the first lawyer in America to file a case in Pittsburgh on the basis that the doctor did not sufficiently explain the consequences of a treatment. I won a large judgment and it was sustained by the supreme court of Pennsylvania in Grey v. Grunnagle. This is now the law in every state in the U.S and is called failure of informed consent. In Kalamazoo, Michigan I tried a criminal case and won an acquittal and this case, Michigan v. Brayboy, was used by several major Michigan universities to teach search and seizure, even though the case was at the lowest level of court. In the Supreme Court of Ohio in Weyland v. Countrymart Grain Company of Lima, Ohio, I established the doctrine of deliberate tort in Ohio, which is a method of by-passing the Workman s Compensation limits. In the Supreme Court of the U.S. against Thurgood Marshall when he was solicitor general, and later a Justice, I obtained a reduction in sentence for my client from seven years to nine months in the case of U.S. v. Jimmy Johnson. I feel that I have done my part as a human and a citizen. My loves are archeology, literature, and ancient history, on which I have written, and I also like collecting real art and my collection would be very desirable by a small museum. And I write poetry, one of which won a national contest; and one of my poems, according to two English professors, is supposed to be the best love poem ever written in the English language, but that remains to be seen if I ever submit it for publication. I like putting things together such as solving a historical problem as to what a certain naval maneuver was that was used by the Greeks against the Persians in 480, B.C. For 2,500 years no one knew. I read ancient writers such as Thucydides, Xenophon, and Diodorus Sicilus who described defenses to this movement of ships. From these, by reverse reasoning, I figured out the attack and it was published in Annapolis magazine, Naval History. My books on divorces, judges, the Bible, pre-nuptials, and other possibly coming works are all of this method of inquiry. I have a daughter and a stepdaughter, one being a chemical engineer and the other a neurologist.
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